香港之旅見到了不少的朋友，也蒐集了不少資訊。返台後，沒想到內心的惶惶不安，更加明顯。
究竟該固守甚麼? 又該妥協甚麼? 該往那兒前進，才是挪移帳篷，更加靠近神呢??
過度忙碌時，總覺得自己沒能靜下心來聽聽神的聲音。沒想到過度閒逸時，內心的煩躁之音，也讓我無法定下心來。
一位友人問我，今日的徬徨，回頭想想當年的決定，後悔嗎??
不論是從理性，或是從情感層面，我都明白，當年功成身退，是對我而言最合適的退場時機。在我的內心深處，我明白這是個過程，也是個我非學習不可的功課。
但，即便在神豐富的預備和恩典中，血氣中的我，仍是有許多的掛念，許多的想要，和許多的不甘心。說到底，我仍是活在自我中，放不下我引以為傲的自我。
我向神禱告，求神賜給我天上的信心，讓我可以放下無謂的掛慮，定睛仰望信實的父神。
My Utmost for His Highest
As soon as you begin to live the life of faith in God, fascinating and physically gratifying possibilities will open up before you. These things are yours by right, but if you are living the life of faith you will exercise your right to waive your rights, and let God make your choice for you. God sometimes allows you to get into a place of testing where your own welfare would be the appropriate thing to consider, if you were not living the life of faith. But if you are, you will joyfully waive your right and allow God to make your choice for you. This is the discipline God uses to transform the natural into the spiritual through obedience to His voice.
Whenever our right becomes the guiding factor of our lives, it dulls our spiritual insight. The greatest enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but good choices which are not quite good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best. In this passage, it would seem that the wisest thing in the world for Abram to do would be to choose. It was his right, and the people around him would consider him to be a fool for not choosing.
Many of us do not continue to grow spiritually because we prefer to choose on the basis of our rights, instead of relying on God to make the choice for us. We have to learn to walk according to the standard which has its eyes focused on God. And God says to us, as He did to Abram, “…walk before Me…” (Genesis 17:1).
愛旅行 (58)