在充滿困惑又無所事事的曠野生活中，2016年，我腦中不時想起摩西。前四十年的皇宮生涯，他所學得的技能、知識，享受的皇家待遇，在曠野毫無用處。他會牧羊嗎??在畜牧界，摩西應該是生手吧? 從王子到牧羊人，他怎麼重新開始? 在曠野生活的每一天，他是否曾經懊悔當年的一時衝動? 他仍舊認定自己的身分，以及保守自己在當中嗎? 還是在日復一日的routine life失去了初衷，與現況妥協，對於神的應許，已不復記憶??
小信的我，雖然認識神、經歷神，也明白神正在帶領我走信心之旅，建造我的生命。但我仍是抵擋不住停不下的思慮煩擾
神憐憫恩待我，在這一年間，神用許多的信息，對我傳遞相同的心意。
七月，營會課程剛開始，我在筆記本上抄下神給我的信息:創32:23-32「只剩下雅各一人」
我的筆記本上抄下牧師的信息: 如同雅各放下14年來安穩的牧羊人生活，我要放下安逸的生活，獨自一人，才能與神相遇。
十月，神在特會中提醒我，Rachel has to be buried. Don't cry for Rachel.
There are certain things that we are attached to in our flesh. Maybe they are not entirely bad things, but those things cost us to rely on the affection of our flesh, rather than giving God the priority in our lives. So, eventually, God will take away those attachments from us, those things that even might be dear to us, and we must learn to let it go without any regrets.
Ken牧師笑著勉勵我，或許我心中的Rachel太大，所以需要夠長的時間，來讓我下定決心，把Rachel 埋葬，往Ephrath前行
同時，在日復一日漫無目的的等候中，神藉著許多詩歌，提醒我祂是信實的神，祂永不誤事。
歲末之際，神再次藉著祂的僕人，對我的心說話，解開了我這一年來過不去的心結。
God has made his covenant with you, and He will lead and guide your life. He has covenanted which is something so eternally great. When he makes a covenant it means we have to prepare the go bag. When that message arrives from headquarter, you don't have to wait, you don't have to sell things, you don't have to make a decision that takes a year to resolve. You just grasp the bag, and go. All the former life, leave behind. You should have your go bag,. You should have your spiritual and even psychological (mindset) bag ready. Always knowing secretly inside that you belong to another society. When the command comes, you should be so prepared in your heart, to walk out the door with your go bag like Jesus did in his 30 years.
You must have clear that to wait on the Lord is not to waste your time. To wait and to do is the same if it's God's will. If you have to make a decision, make a decision based on what you are good at. Fashion your career around your gifts. But always knowing, you can end it any moment. And knowing that, even if you have to go out tomorrow, it is not waste of your time. (42:00)
The go bag we must have ready is to do God's will, Not to escape from problems. You are never safer than in God's will. Need Not fear of revolutions or soldiers. There is no safter place than be in God's perfect will.
For us, God is calling us to build a house of Lord in our heart. Always be conscious on this, that your life now, because of that covenant, is tied to a different future than anybody else. We are travelling to Jerusalem even though we are staying in Babylon. It's a spiritual place we are going to.
May you know the differences between understanding God's ways with accepting God's ways. Who are we to understand such a great thing? Trust and obey the Lord.
Thank for God's voices, to the nations, to the new generations, and to me. Lord, be everything to me.
延伸閱讀: On the Back Side of the Desert
The paradox of the desert is that in the quiet dryness of the moment, thoughts often are unscrambled while priorities are reassembled. In the desert, God's voice can be clearly heard.
愛旅行 (58)